We've Got a Problem
by Alison16
Summary: Sirius and Remus interrupt a rather intimate Lily and James because they've lost Peter.


James was practically good at everything. Quidditch, being a wizard, making people laugh, standing up for others, being a great friend, annoying Lily, making Lily happy, being a boyfriend, talking, flirting, hugging, kissing, cuddlin- You get the point.

Anyways, there _was _one thing he was completely terrible at.

Keeping his room clean.

Moving into a new room each year was great. The rooms were neat and tidy, the floor was visible, the bed was made, the closets and drawers were empty, the desk was neat and organized.

James vowed every year when he entered the new room, that this year, he'd keep it clean. And every year, when it was time to pack up for the summer, James would spend hours throwing things into his suitcase, rediscovering things he's lost since the second month.

He had no idea how the mess would start. Okay maybe he did. It would start when he'd come back from a gruelling day of classes, multiple rejections from his favourite redhead, and a tiring Quidditch practice, he'd simply toss his books and papers on his desk, throw his robe over the bed post and dump his broomstick on the floor before falling face first into his bed. Over time the robes would pile, the papers scattered and the bristles on his broom shed. He never made his bed since he was just going to ruin it later in the evening anyways. The closet and drawer overflowed with unfolded clothes. Straight to the point, he was lazy.

So one winter evening, after dinner, in the seventh year, Lily decided she'd help her slob of a boyfriend with his greatly untidy Head Boy room. It bothered her immensely how unorganized it was, and the only benefit was that'd he'd come to her room late and ask if they could share a bed because he could barely lay flat in his.

She knew it would take forever. The floor was barely visible and the bed was covered in dirty robes, pants, ties and parchment. One curtain was open while the other one was closed. His drawer wide open and empty and its contents dumped out on his couch. The window sill littered with Quidditch magazines. His desk towered with textbooks and parchments that threatened to collapse and his broomstick lying in the middle of the mess waiting for someone to trip.

Lily sighed, tsked at her boyfriend and got started by picking up three robes from the bed. She lifted it near her nose and took a cautious sniff, "How do you know if it's clean or not?" she laughed.

James rolled his eyes and took the robes from her, "It doesn't matter. I can just use a charm and 'Voila!' Lemony fresh," he smiled at her while she shook her head. He grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckle, "Thanks for helping, by the way. The full moon is coming and I don't want to dump Remus in your room again. Being Head Boy and all, it's definitely got me..."

"Unorganized," Lily finished for him. She rolled onto her tippy toes and kissed him on the nose. He laughed at her, wrapt his long arms around her waist, lifting her up. Lily squealed, "James! Put me down! We're going to get _nothing _done! James!"

Nearly an hour later, the sun had set and Lily and James were finally done. She kept him on track, instead of James finding an old, lost object and playing with it for hours. They had a good system, James would sort out important papers and throw out old ones while Lily put the important ones into folders, she also organized his textbooks in alphabetical and chronological order. For his closet, she'd lay out five pieces of clothing while he used a cleaning charm on them and then she'd fold or hang them and neatly place them into the closet and drawer. His floor was clear and swept, Quidditch magazines kept in a neat pile on the the window sill and the couch clear of mess. The bed was the only messy bit of his room because it was being occupied by the couple.

At the moment, they were caught up in a rather heated snogging session, Lily straddling his hips while James's hands roamed her body. The occasional giggle, followed by a sigh could be heard whenever he 'accidentally' brushed his fingers against the bare skin between her skirt and her ridden up blouse. He did it a number of times knowing sooner or later it would rile her, and soon it did. As revenge she bit his lip and sucked on it, catching him off guard, and then rolling underneath him. James was now on top, looking at her smirking.

"Nice one, Evans," he laughed but Lily stopped him when she pulled James down by the tie, drawing his mouth closer to hers.

"Last name basis, are we now, Potter? I thought we were _over _that already," she grinned at him pushing his chest away from hers, she continued, "I thought we were more, I don't know," she started to unbutton his shirt, making him growl, "Closer than that," she whispered seductively, winking at him.

"I've created a monster," he lunged forward and kissed her quickly on the lips, "Be careful by the way, we just made the bed,"

She laughed throwing back her head, "I've also created a monster!" Her fingers found the hoops of his black pants and pulled him towards her.

James growled again as her fingers reached the zipper of his pants, his head dug into her neck, sucking, licking and marking his territory, he started to trail kisses down her jaw and to her collarbone and then sucking it, as he pulled her hands away from his zipper and placed them behind his neck. She moaned loudly and gasped as his mouth left her skin, resulting in a loud, _"Pop!"_ sound. His hands began to unbutton her blouse while hers began to weave through his already messy hair. The blanket was hanging off the bed, part of it that wasn't beneath Lily, spilt into the ground, the bottom right corner of the fitted sheet had come undone from its corner, while the pillows were on the floor or beneath Lily's head. James was midway through her blouse when he tilted his head up to kiss her on the lips saying he loved her.

They were then interrupted by loud, running foot steps and an, "Oh Merlin!"

"Remus!" Lily screamed, covering her almost bare body with James's blanket. While at it she had pushed James off her and the bed, resulting in a thud on the ground. "James!" she gasped, reaching for his hand, still covering herself.

He took her hand and sat up on the floor, rubbing the back of his head. He reached for his glasses only to see Remus standing in the doorway, covering his eyes, and Sirius crawling on the floor looking beneath his desk.

"Blimey! The ties on the door knob you gits! We've been over this before! What do you not understand?" He said, zipping his up his zipper, and stood up closing the curtains around his bed, letting Lily straighten herself out. "Oi! What do you think you're doing, Black? I just cleaned that!" James watched as Sirius opened his drawer and toss some clothes out, he turned to the other boy, "Remus, what the hell are you gits doing?" James yelled.

Lily came out of the curtained area, still blushing, out of breath and very warm, she cleared her throat, "Boys! The tie's on the door for a reason! We agreed to it so we could avoid these awkward situations. What happened that made you ignore the damn tie?" The tie was like a 'do not disturb' door sign and the other Marauders were not to open the door if the there ever was a tie on it.

"Would the two of you calm your hormones down?" Sirius said standing up and dragging a hand across his face before smiling at Lily, "Hello there Lily-pie, nice evening we're having, might _I_ say, and nice knickers," he winked, "Blue lace looks magnificent on you, I could only imagine that your brassiere matches it-"

"Stop imagining," James said, balling his hand into fists.

Sirius, unfortunately, continued, "Mind telling me where you bought 'em? Might go out and get Marlene a pair. I say green's better with her complexion-"

"Sirius!" James yelled, "Why are you here?!"

Sirius looked at Remus nervously and looked back at James and Lily, frowning, "You see, we um. We've got a problem,"

"We?" Remus yelled, closing the door and walking towards the group, "You've got a problem! You did it! I was enjoying my evening the common room until you showed up!"

"Yes. Yes. I know. But the boy is yours, James's, Lily's _and _my friend. So you all must help me,"

James stared at his two friends confused.

Lily on the other hand gasped and widened her eyes, "_What did you do to Peter_?" she jabbed a finger into Sirius's chest.

He squealed and jumped back, wanting to get away from Lily's fiery eyes. His hands put out in front of him, as if pushing her away from a distance, "It was a mistake. And I didn't want to to hurt him! I wanted to help him!"

"With what?" James asked.

Remus sighed, "With transforming," he looked at Sirius, annoyed, and continued, "It's not a secret that Peter's still having some trouble with the transformations. Anyways, Sirius thought he'd spend sometime looking for a spell that'd help. Found one that was safe, but he said the wrong one when he performed it and now we have no idea where Peter is,"

"And I only meant to help him!" Sirius cried, "I didn't mean for it to go wrong!"

Seeing that Sirius was truly sorry, Lily softened her glare a bit and asked, "What spell did you use?"

Sirius sniffled, "Chapter 22, page 984, section 3, the third spell. Ideally, it was supposed to be the one on the page before, but the wind must've turned the page while I wasn't looking,"

Lily grabbed a book from James's desk and began searching for the book.

James's hand found its way into his hair and the slid through it, he sighed, "Okay after you did the wrong spell, what happened"

"I panicked," Sirius said sheepishly, "Peter was supposed to transform quickly, but not as quick as he did. There was a big 'poof' and some smoke, and then he was gone. All that was left was his robes, which is odd because you're supposed to keep your clothes when you transform,"

"How do you know he's missing and you didn't kill him?" James asked.

"James!" Lily cried.

"I didn't kill him! When I say 'gone,' I mean he wasn't human Peter, he was rat Peter. He was sitting on top of the robes, looking at me,"

"And then?" James pushed.

"Oh you're going to love this next part," Remus deadpanned.

Sirius glared at him and gave him the finger. Remus laughed, "Tell him, Padfoot. What happened next?"

"Marlene came in to the room," he said quietly.

"What was Marlene doing there?" James asked.

Remus smirked, "She wanted a snog,"

James slapped his hand over his eyes, falling onto the bed, disappointed, "And then?"

"Well Peter panicked. We all know how afraid Marlene is with rats. Anything of the like really. She would've killed him on spot. So he hid. The problem is, I don't know where," Sirius explained.

"Why didn't you tell Mar that now wasn't the time?" Lily asked, lifting her gaze from the book to look at Sirius innocently.

"Yes, Sirius, why didn't you?" Remus smirked.

"Our friend is in great danger, and you seem to be enjoying it," Sirius shot back.

"You decided to enjoy _something_ else before saving said friend," Remus said.

"You _snogged_ Marlene before turning Peter back into human?" James asked in disbelief. Sirius nodded and he groaned, "Bloody hell, and you said _I _was a sad excuse for a bloke,"

"Got it," Lily said. She walked from the desk to sit next to James on the bed. The boys gathered around her and watched as her emerald eyes scanned the page. She mumbled, "It says, 'Spell can be reversed by anyone, but must be reversed within two hours. If not, subject may remain in patronus for life,' oh dear. Sirius, how long ago did this incident happen?"

He gulped, "45 minutes ago,"

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Times running out! Quick! Where have you not looked?"

"We've been everywhere; the Great Hall, the library, the dungeons, the kitchen even. We've tried all the secret passages, all the dormitories, thanks to the cloak, and no sign of Peter. This is the last room," Remus explained.

"So you checked my room?" Lily asked.

Sirius and Remus looked at each other before racing towards the washroom that lead into her room. James and Lily followed.

Remus began crawling on the floor looking beneath her bed, drawers, desk and couch. Sirius went straight to her knicker drawer, earning a slap on the head from James and Lily. Lily followed Remus, looking for possible mice holes that could be in the wall, while James searched the shelves. When her room was all checked, they all slumped against her bed, disappointed.

"There's got to be something you missed. Did you check outside?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Peter wouldn't go outside, bigger risk of an owl swooping down to eat him," Sirius explained.

"What if Mrs Norris _ate_ him?" Lily asked worriedly.

"No, she wouldn't. Peter's gotten past that thing millions of times already. Mrs. Norris seems to ignore him, think's he's not too interesting or tasty to eat," James said, rubbing his temples and looking down at his shoes.

Lily thought for a second before asking, "The map? What about the map?"

James looked up, looked at Remus and Sirius and then Lily, "The map! Where's the map?"

Sirius frowned, "Pete had it. I remember him tucking it in his robes,"

Lily straightened up, "But you said Peter's robes were the only thing left. They're still in your dorm aren't they?"

Sirius eyes widened as he rose up and dashed for the stairs, "Let's go!"

They all raced down the spiral staircase and into the boys' dorm. Sirius burst into the room and dived down towards the pile of robes on the floor. He started to rummage through Peter's robes, missing the pockets completely. Lily rolled her eyes and took the robes from him, taking the map out of the left pocket.

"Here," she said giving it to Remus. "You blokes never let me open it anyways,"

James smiled at her apologetically and said, "Sorry, sweetheart but we can't have your innocent mind in our mischief. It might ruin you,"

Remus took it from her and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

The ink on the map appeared showing the outline of the castle and everyone on it. Remus walked over to a desk in the corner and placed it where he, James and Sirius could see it.

"Peter Pettigrew, Peter Pettigrew," Sirius repeated looking for the name.

James scowled as he looked for Peter's name glancing at the clock and Lily from time to time. The he noticed that Lily's name wasn't on the map as well. _And then _he noticed that there was a tiny scribble near where his, Sirius and Remus were standing. It was two words put together.

"Lily, darling," James said, "D'you mind moving to the right for a bit?"

Lily obliged moving three steps to the right. The scribble split into two, the moving part reading, 'Lily Evans,' and the other, 'Peter Pettigrew,'.

"Blimey," Sirius and Remus said.

"Lily, dearest," James said, his voice a bit angry, "What is the counterspell?"

"_Ditrisio Patronus_," she said as her eyebrows knit together, "You fou-"

James cut her off, "Lily, go to the empty bed over there and close the curtains,"

She looked at Remus and Sirius who nodded towards the unused bed. Remus walked the confused Lily to the bed and closed the curtains. "Did you find hi-"

"_Ditrisio Patronus!_" James yelled.

"James!" Peter cheered, "Oh my, thank Merlin you found me! Sirius he-he-"

"Put some clothes on, mate!" Remus snarled, covering his eyes.

Peter looked down and blushed, hurriedly throwing on his robes. Fully clothed, he walked up to James to hug him, "James, thank you, thank you, thank you. You've no idea how scared and lost I was. James! James! Why do you look so mad?"

Lily peeked out of the curtains and saw as James hands shook, his face go red and his cheeks puff.

"James?" she piped.

He looked at her and back to Peter who was shivering in fear, moving away from James.

"James?"

James lunged forward and pointed his wand at Peter as Peter's back hit the wall. His arm pinned Peter as he said, "I should blast your _eyes _out right now!"

"James!" Lily screamed as she hurried over trying to help Remus and Sirius pull James off.

"She's my girlfriends you perv! I should just _rip _your eyes out at this moment!"

Before James could follow his threat, Sirius tugged on James hard enough for him to stumble backwards, fall on his bum, giving Peter enough time to run to the other side of a near by bed. Completely enraged at Peter, James decided he'd ignore what Sirius had done, as he tried to stand up and stalk over to Peter.

Lily, knowing what James planned to do, pushed James back down to the floor and held him down. She spoke loudly, "James, explain why you're threatening Peter after you just _saved _him!"

James growled at Peter, "Peter, how aware were you of things going on while you were your patron?"

"I-I-I. James's, I d-don't understand!" Peter stuttered.

"Answer the question!" James roared.

"J-James-"

"And _don't you dare_ lie to me!"

'I-I-I, ahem, I was very aware of everything happening,"

Just then it clicked in Sirius's head as James began to sit up, "You prat!" he said smiling, "You were looking up Evan's skirt! She was standing over you! That's why your names were scribbled together! You were staring at her knickers! You _are _a perv!"

Lily blushed and looked at the fuming James. He caught her eye and pulled her towards him, moving her behind him.

"James, Lily, _believe me_! I didn't see anything!" Peter cried.

"She's my girlfriend, you git! I should hex until your-"

"I didn't see anything!"

"You didn't see anything?" James roared. "You were looking right up her skirt. Why I oughta hang you off the astronomy tower!"

"I didn't. I really didn't, James!" Peter sobbed heavily.

James moved to stalk over to Peter, but Lily stopped him. "James," she said, "He didn't see anything," she said calmly.

"And how could you say that?" James yelled.

"Because," she looked around the room and blushed, "I'm," she cleared her throat, "I'm wearing a pair of your loose boxers. The boys barging in on us startled me and I was uncomfortable just in my knickers and skirt. So I threw on a pair of your boxers near the bed. Peter didn't see anything,"

James seemed to have simmered down as Lily took his hand and rubbed her thumb over the top. He looked at the quivering Peter and back to Lily. "Fine," he spat, "But it still doesn't explain why he just sat there and not made him visible to us. We were saving his life remember?"

Sirius gasped, "You nasty bloke! You were _trying_ to see something!" and then just like that, James was chasing Peter around the dorm again.


End file.
